S1 Ep8: Your Worth is Not in Your To-Do List
A fat truth bomb is coming at you today. I hope you’re ready.
This was a hard pill for me to swallow, as I’ve always been someone who prioritizes working, being productive, and being successful, as part of my personality and who I am. Thankfully, I have people around me, who can fact-check me and tell me, “No, this is not a part of your personality.” I’m someone who tends to accidentally put too much on my plate to handle, (Brene Brown also admits to doing this so that sometimes makes me feel a BIT better haha) but today I’m sharing a real-life text and instance that happened that allowed me to wake up and enjoy slowing down. And finding PEACE in slowing down.
Before I dive into the message, I know there are a lot of new friends around this community, or maybe it’s been a while since you last tuned in, so just wanted to share some updates!
If you’ve been with me for a while over on my Instagram community, you may have been there when I got accepted into Grad schooL! Yay! This honestly wasn’t my plan at all, once again God proving that this is His plan for me not mine, but it has been such a blessing. I’ve been able to stay in Orlando and continue my creative business freelancing and painting custom orders, managing my shop, while maintaining my social media and uplifting others. That last part is honestly one of the best jobs in the world, even if I may not be making a ton at the moment!
Fast forward to now, I currently have the sweetest, caring boyfriend who is always there for me. The two years I took to focus on myself and be single was the best gift I could give myself because it gave me time to love myself all over again. My heart, mind, and soul were really tested, and by the time I met Josh, I knew I felt ready because I had done work on myself to be the best version of me.
Finally, I am now living with my best friend Janine, and other now best friends, Darbi! You may remember Janine from the friend that I studied abroad with in Prague. So, now, it is like a sleepover every night living with her. We basically yell across the hall at each other when we need something and then laugh when we FaceTime each other for little things like a glass of water or something at night.
Okay, so now that I’ve given you an updated glimpse into my life recently and where I am physically, you’re probably gripping the edge of your seat ready for me to dive into today’s message. This episode shares how I’m a recovering perfectionist through and through. Also some tips and tools from personal experience to get you motivated and going and remind you do NOT find worth in your to-do list.
I started reading Jordan Lee Dooley’s book, “Own your Everyday” and in it is a chapter on how sometimes we really need to figure out what’s going on internally to fix the problem. Here’s the quotes I highlighted:
“This isn’t so much an issue of what’s going on externally, on the surface, but internally, beneath the surface. It could be hormonal or bacterial and quite possibly is linked to diet or stress.”
“When we get infected with expectations or when the pressure to prove swells, insecurity breaks out.
“It means we need to start looking at what’s going on deeper, often in our hearts, instead of picking ourselves apart.”
Good right?
(Side note: This book has been great so far, but I haven’t read it all the way through so I can’t give a full review on it yet. But if you are into motivational, inspirational messages this is a good book for you!)
Anyways, after I read this chapter, I sat down afterward and knew I had a problem. I always am prioritizing my to-do list, my “Busy” lifestyle, as if that holds my worth for some reason. I knew something needed to change, so I texted Janine, my roommate, and asked her what she thought.
Here’s where the truth bomb hit me…as she was asking what’s on my to-do list today and all that I needed to accomplish I sent her my list. After I keep seeing the typing bubble come on and away, she finally sends this reply:
So for anyone who knows Janine and I, the best thing I honestly treasure about our friendship is the way that she is able to tell you the things that you NEED to hear, not what you want to hear, and on the other hand, I am really good with gently delivering emotional news during vulnerable situations. So obviously, I realized she was right and immediately my whole trajectory of the day switched. It’s as if a light bulb above my head was really struggling to turn on and was flickering violently, but it finally turned on.
So overall, I share all this in case you are also stuck in the hustle and bustle of life. Addicted to that feeling of checking off all the boxes of your to do list, completing tasks like you’ll win a gold prize, or even working so hard that you forget to take time to yourself. I’m here to tell you that you are doing enough. Even just listening to this podcast you are doing something for you! And while we are in this culture that prioritizes Workaholism, we need those people who can tell us that we are doing too much. That our to do list is unrealistic.
That we need to take a moment to slow down.
I mean, if you’ve seen the Devil Wears Prada you know what I’m talking about here. The fact that someone realizes, their happiness and well being, is not worth the anxiety, fear, and working around the clock 24/7, is pretty profound and a great lesson, is it not?
But don’t let your work get in the way of your personal lives, your time for yourself, your time with God, or your future. Because at the end of the day, when I leave this world, I don’t want to be remembered for what I accomplished or did, I want to be remembered for how I made people FEEL and how I helped OTHERS through similar stages of life. To help you and them realize that we shouldn’t be prioritizing this heavy work-filled, accomplishing life.
So today, instead of tackling my extra long to-do list, making myself disappointed because I didn’t finish it, waking up dreading failing myself again and being lethargic and tired, I’m
Recording this podcast to share with you in case you find yourself in a similar situation.
Shortening my to-do list to prioritize the things that MUST be done, not a want, and then going to Trader joes and getting fresh food and fruit for the week (and also those dang macrons that are too freaking good)
Loving myself and telling myself it is okay to slow down. To stop living this fast-paced, have-to-do-everything life. Learning to live in a space that welcomes and celebrates slowing down instead of the hard hustle and bustle that leaves me disappointed, unfulfilled, and wondering what I’m doing wrong.
I truly hope this helps you today. I wouldn’t be sharing if I didn’t find it important.
So please, whoever is listening, wherever you are, in the car, at home getting ready for your day, maybe its the end of the day and you’re getting dinner ready—whatever it may be, I challenge you to take a moment if you find yourself hustling and bustling, slow down, and then tell yourself that it’s okay to
If it’s not okay, there is a bigger problem going on.
Love you all and I wish you the BEST week. I’m so excited to be back and have a lot of great things coming up this month and week. Remember to rest, breathe, slow down, and be proud of yourself for everything you are, have done, and are doing. Cheering you on always. Talk soon!
xx,
Shelby